To shake things up a bit for our future radio book club shows we decided to read a regular book but also some kind of factual one so for the next few months at least we will be reading some self help books and Feel the Fear is the first one of these. My
My copy proudly declares it’s a 20th anniversary edition so my first concern was if it would still be relevant in today’s society and after reading through it I would say yes. The only really out of bit parts are technological. In one chapter she mentions picking up the phone or writing a letter and getting in touch with people. While still positives to do these days you’re more likely to text, tweet or email.
The first part of the book asks you to list your fears in general but suggests that they fall into different levels. Level 1 fears are things that may happen such as being alone. Level 2 is why that fear may happen so being alone due to rejection or vulnerable and then the deepest fear of all, Level 3, is based on your negativity to these fears “I can’t handle it”. There are a few exercises in the book (not enough for me, I would’ve preferred more but it may be enough for others) and one is to create your “Pain to Power” chart. Basically a line where you mark off where you stand so if you are happy in your job you may mark that closer to the Power point but unhappy with your love life then mark closer to the Pain point.
There’s a good section following on from that which helps you turn negative phrases into more positive ones and how to speak & think in a more positive, honest way. For example “I can’t go to the party” could be “I can go to the party but I don’t want to as I’d rather stay at home and watch the new series of Sherlock Holmes”. Ok that may be a bit negative to the one throwing the party but it will apparently help you break down your own fears. Might be something to just think rather than say out loud!
One of the things I found reading through the book and listing my own personal fears is that the book helped me to actually focus on all these and I managed to find a common denominator so rather than several issues I really only have the one but it impacts on several areas of my life. The question now is to work on that fear and break it down into smaller areas I can work on that will eventually get rid of the fear in its entirety.
Chapter 6 “When “they” don’t want you to grow” was one I found fascinating. It describes how on your positive journey you will meet people that resist your growth and try and sabotage it with lots of ways in which you can learn to deal with them. Some are simple but there are harsher elements such as ridding your life of these people including an example of a woman that did just that and got a divorce!
All in all despite its age it is still probably one of the better self help books on the market with suggestions that stand the test of time.
Other blogs to read
http://kirstywhite33.wordpress.com/ all about the yes
http://kzwhite.wordpress.com/ family ties
http://southleedscommunityradio.wordpress.com/ Blog for our online radio show and other events at South Leeds Community Radio